Realisation and Rain
by si-te-hace-feliz
Summary: Grissom suddenly realises how foolish he has been. The love of his life Sara is right on front of him but does he have the guts to go and get her? And will she shoot him down? better inside I promise! GSR Smut and rated M


**So this is my first fic that I've published and hope that it's not too awful! It's my idea of how Sara and Grissom got together mid-season 6. I appreciate any reviews and have been a committed reader and reviewer for over a year now so hopefully some of you can repay the favour! Hope you enjoy and all feedback is appreciated! GSR (I don't have Beta reader so please excuse any spelling/grammar mistakers. I did try hard to edit it well as I appreciate it can be annoying!)**

**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters featured. **

Grissom sat at his desk. He'd been there for far too long, behind that desk. Hiding behind his authority, using it as an excuse to push people away. Especially Sara.

He'd been out for dinner with Sofia a few weeks ago and when Sara had first found out she'd been off with him. But for the past few days she seemed to have submitted. She would answer his questions and be civil to him, but their relationship as friends seemed to have disappeared.

Sara. When he thought of her, saw her, smelt her as she brushed passed him at a crime scene, it made him feel butterflies in his stomach. His breath would shorten, his vision tunnel on her; that terrified him. He'd not felt that way since... well ever. Earlier that shift, they'd been working a double murder of two minors, and as usual on a case involving abuse he'd been witness to the burning passion that Sara used to bring justice to victims.

It was 30 minutes after everyone else had gone home. The day shift were beginning to enter the premises and he had no desire to speak to any of them so he lethargically picked up his jacket, keys and left the building. He passed the day receptionist and nodded, she was just about to call to him to say goodnight when he deliberately sped up and left to go to his car to avoid speaking to her. As he slowly got inside it started to tip it down with rain he realised what he had just done. Gilbert Grissom had yet again avoided human contact. As he leaned forward and hit his head rhythmically against the steering wheel his wallet fell straight from his pocket and the contents spilled all over his car floor. It wasn't much to pick up; a few coins and notes, his credit card, but one thing threw him. He'd completely forgotten that it was in his wallet, folded in on itself in the back pocket.

As he finished clearing up he picked up the photograph and held it where he could see it. It was an old instant Polaroid. Like they used to use at crime scenes sometimes. Only this one wasn't from a crime scene. The image was him and Sara in the 90's in the fall in Las Vegas. She'd come to stay with him for a week and see Vegas for the first time, but they'd ended up spending the week making love and taking sporadic trips out into the desert during the night time to stargaze and feel the fresh air away from the sound polluted metropolis. The picture was a close up of their faces, her looking at the camera poking her tongue out and him resting his forehead against her cheek while grinning introvertedly.

He remember the afternoon perfectly when she'd taken the picture. They couldn't be bothered to get dressed, so when he finally got in the shower she'd jumped in with him and they'd spent the remainder of the day with wet hair and wearing towel robes. When he was just about to convince her that they should sleep at some point she'd grabbed her camera and taken the picture before he could turn to face for it.

"_You could have given me a warning!" he playfully hit her with a cushion_

"_No, it's perfect, I don't like pictures too posed," she leant her head forward to lean against his._

"_Why not?" he enquired, speaking slowly._

_She pulled away and smiled sadly, "because I want to remember this moment, this exact one, the way you make me feel, the way you look at me with so much caring. When I return home I know this will end, and that's ok, we both know it's inevitable, but sometimes you just want a tiny thing to hold on to." _

If he hadn't been so stubborn he would have said "No, it doesn't have to end." But he did not, she left, and he settled into his introverted ways and even after being the one to reach out to her, inviting her to work in Vegas, he then pushed her away.

He sat in the warm vehicle and studied the picture, trying to decipher some sort of code or sign that the image may give him. Grissom softly traced the outline of her face using his fingertip. He felt over her lips and nose, wishing so much that they would be real. Wishing he could once again hold her body in his arms and feel and touch the softness of her pale creamy skin.

After a while he sighed and put the photograph behind the steering wheel, in front of the mileage numbers. He started to drive without realising and ended up aimlessly driving around the city. If he went home, it would be just another day that he'd failed to reveal his true self. But if he went to Sara's ... maybe he would be in time to apologise, but maybe she would shoot him down. If that happened he didn't know if they could ever function as colleagues or friends.

He was just out of a junction when before he knew it the front of his car had been clipped by an SUV and his car completely spun around. His foot instinctively slammed on the brakes and he felt his stomach in his mouth momentarily as he pulled onto the sidewalk. After a few seconds to recover from the initial shock he opened the door of his car, no damage seemed to be done and the other driver had fled the scene. He ran his fingers through his hair and inhaled deeply trying to catch his breath. His car had now turned completely the opposite direction to where he was heading.

Filled with adrenalin he decided there and then, his car was now facing the direction of Sara's house. That was where he was going. He was going to tell her everything, that he loved her, that he always had, and it was his deepest desire to have her once again in his arms and by his side.

As he pulled up he looked up to her apartment. Through the heavy rain and the shut blinds he saw her beautiful silhouette moving around the living room. He would have sat there just staring as the shadow moved around but he soon realised he would be acting like one of the many stalkers that he had investigated. Getting out of the car he grabbed the photo put it in his pants pocket to avoid it getting wet as he sprinted through the downpour to her house.

He knocked on the door and stood impatiently waiting for her to come to the door.

"Grissom,"

"Sara,"

They stood there for an awkward moment, comprehending each other's presence. He noted she was only wearing sweat shorts and a tank top compared to his shirt and trousers.

"Come in-"Sara started

"-I..." Grissom interrupted accidently

"Ok don't," she frowned

"No sorry, I mean, Yes, I would like very much to come in," he smiled sadly.

That smile had been the bane of Sara's adult life. He had a very unique way of smiling that made her feel like she was a teenager again. Most of the time she had to stop herself from blushing every time it happened.

She left the door open and stood back for him to enter. He didn't. He stood there cowardly as ever and mumbled something,"I uh... I have to tell you...uh-"

"What is it Gil?" Oh how he loved it when she called him that. But all he could think about was forehead sweating and bile rising up in his mouth. How could another human being make him so nervous?

"I uh, sorry I shouldn't have come here," he backed out and pulled the door ajar. He walked to his car and sat cursing and once again beating his head against the steering wheel.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he whispered angrily at himself. Why only a minute ago he'd been the most determined man in the world. Now he was sitting in his car, damp from the rain cursing at what a coward he was. He sat with his arms leaning against the wheel when a huge bang on the window made him jump. His head slipped forward and slammed into the horn really getting his attention. He looked outside. Sara was standing half way up her driveway, soaking wet and angry.

"Why?" she almost shouted, "why do you have to do this to me?"

He got out and slammed the door shut. The rain drenched them both as they stood there looking at each other.

"Do you hate me?" she said as he walked closer to her, "do you? Because every time you speak to me, it breaks my heart and I can't do this anymore. Stop pushing me away, or let me go when I try to leave."

"You think I hate you?" he shouted back through the deafening storm, "Sara, I...I...uh...I uh don't-"

"-See, you're pushing me away again, and I'm done. You come to my house, I let you in and you just walk away," she turned but he grabbed her wrist.

As he pulled her back to him her soaking wet hair flicked around and her face looked even more beautiful with her hurt expression.

He grabbed her other arm and pulled her within centimetres of his face. She felt his hot breath on her face warming up the rain that fell there continually.

"I love you; I'm in love with you. I want you, forever and ever and ever. I want you to let me love you and to love me back and hopefully one day you'll forgive me, for all the times I pushed you aside. I tried to ignore my love for you because it scared me. It scared me how much I could love someone, how much I could love you. You make me feel like the skies are on fire and the world only turns for you. I feel like when you're with me that I'm home, that I'm right and have a place on this earth. I should never have let you go and I never will again if you will be with me"

She noticed even through the rain that tears were falling down his cheeks and she stood there absorbing the beautiful words that he spoke. He was never a man of many words and to have him finally express his sentiment sent jolts through her heart like a fire of passion burning her up.

As he felt her body relax for a second he realised his knuckles were white with how tight me was gripping her wrists. He moved his hands up to her face and pulling her closer their foreheads touched and they shut their eyes. Absorbing the passion of the moment and the heat that radiated even through the freezing rain they breathed heavier and heavier until he could not hold back any longer. His open mouth crashed into hers and as she parted her lips giving him access straight away she tasted the cool rain that accompanied his tongue into her mouth. And as they stopped their eyes and mouths opened breathing the moment in the rain dripped off his nose and in to her mouth as her head was tilted up towards his a few inches higher.

She leaned into his ear and as her steamy breath touched his flesh she whispered, "Inside. Now."

She ran to her door with him closely following and after kicking the door shut she pinned him up against the wall and while knocking over a lamp began unbuttoning his shirt. While not breaking contact of their lips she slid it off his shoulders and her hands began roaming around his mature but toned chest. She pulled him towards the bedroom taking control and after another door slamming she threw off her tank top and sweat shorts. He gasped as he saw her beauty only in her purple lacy underwear, but she didn't allow him to look for long. She moved into him once more and as he moved his mouth to sucking her neck she shoved her hand down his pants and boxers feeling his hardening manhood in her palm.

With that he stopped her and lifted her slender body to the bed, kicking his shoes off as he went. After discarding his pants and boxers onto the floor it was her turn to view him. But like she had done to him, he didn't allow much time as he crawled on top of her body, his legs knelt either side of her hips she undid her own bra while he reached down and slid her panties down her long beautiful legs.

Sara suddenly flipped them over and lay on top of him kissing her way down his chest. As their hot naked flesh touched both of them experience something that they had never felt before. They we completely comfortable with each other's intimate presence, nothing felt uncomfortable or awkward about it.

As Sara moved her kisses further down his body he felt her lips touch lightly on his groin and then her tongue ran slowly up his shaft licking the precum of the head of his large cock.

He allowed himself to lean back for a moment fisting the sheets and tilting his head back. Neither of them could tell where the water from the rain ended and the sweat from their burning heat began.

He realised that if she continued using her mouth he wouldn't be able to hold on for much longer. So taking control, he pulled her up and flipped them once more. He began to kiss her tenderly but she whispered harshly,"pin me down,"

He looked at her as if he didn't believe what she'd said so leaning up to his face she ran her tongue along his jaw line and spoke again in her deep smokey voice ,"pin me down, and make love to me," she playfully bit his neck and returned her head to the pillow.

Meanwhile he used his knee to spread her legs and as he pushed himself inside of her she gasped at his size and he moaned as her hot flesh clenched momentarily around his length. As he began to thrust in and out Grissom grabbed her wrists and pushing them to the sides of her head, he supported himself and stopped her from moving her upper body. Suddenly his cock was pumping in and out of her fast and hard and as she began to moan his name and shut her eyes he grunted and leant down, licking her neck.

As he felt her body tense and her stop moaning he sensed she was holding on and when he told her to let go she screamed his name and gasped as he came and let go of arms collapsing on top of her. They both took a minute to come down from their climactic high and as he pulled out of her and rolled to the side, Sara suddenly felt very empty and cold.

Soon though his arms were around her and the sweat, and heat did not matter. All that mattered was that they were together.

After a while they drifted off and Sara was woken by her alarm clock the next evening.

She turned over to view the sleeping man next to her and she took in his scent and watched the rise and fall of his beautiful chest.

A minute later she felt him turn towards her and after placing a warm arm across her waist he spoke without opening his eyes, "you're staring at me,"

Sara smiled.

"And now you're smiling," he did so too.

"How can you tell, you have your eyes shut?" she said still grinning like a fool.

"I can always tell when you're smiling; I feel it in the air. It's because I love you,"

She leant forward and kissed him on the nose and as he pulled her closer to him and opened his eyes to view her flawless beauty she mouthed, "_I love you too,"_


End file.
